Yes, my follow blog followers, I am taking the journey far and wide to that much talked about but unknown place called Banana Island, where true health, happiness, simplicity, and great functioning bowels await me with open arms, lots of sunshine, and the "chiquita banana" theme song softly wavering in the background. It is a destination only a few strong souls dare to take, praying to avoid evil fruit flies and navigating ripening cycles.....but once there, find they find the bliss difficult to leave.
Anyone care to join me on this spotty-yellow journey?
I prepped for it by avoiding the yellow dudes all day in order to really up my cravings by tomorrow. I did watermelon in the AM (why do the seedless ones actually contain MORE seeds than the seeded? False advertising...I want my money back. It sucked), cantaloupe for lunch (SO gross... I hate this fruit. HATE IT! I have a whole case of it, so if anyone lives in the Chicago area, I will give it to u for free--just get this ugly fruit out of my apartment!!!!), grapes for snack (yummers at first, but then they got kind of boring), and an evil OJ and mango smoothie/drink. This was gross, nasty, and I could barely drink 1/3 of it. FAIL! Today was a major Fail Day, food-wise...which is probably good, for it makes the bananas sound SO apPEALing (HAHA...I crack myself up).
My biggest fears are the dreaded C-word (and no, it is not that one, u dirty, dirty person. Go wash your mouth out with fruit-flavored soap NOW!).... CONSTIPATION! Stools should resemble a consistency similar to our yellowy friends and slip out quick and easy like someone stepping on a banana peel. To quote homeopaths, "like cures like," which doesn't really apply in this sense, but in my weird way of thinking, it makes sense to me. :-)
Biggest challenges on BI:
-WATER! I've been relying a lot on watery fruits, but banana aren't very watery, thus increasing my wah-wah is vital. However, I tend to fill up fast, thus water doesn't become appealing when my tums is already stuffed.
-SLEEP! I need to double that amount. I'm lucky if I get 4-6 hours.
-STRESS: Bananas will be my new chill-pill. I need to relax, meditate, deep breath, and do calming/happy/relaxing things. I need to stop hating on myself and learn to love (let's start with like) who I am...even if I have to fake it for now.
-CALORIES: I need to make sure I am eating enough, but not too much where is actually is counter-productive. I'm going to start with 1 banana pre-workout, then come home and have 5 banana smoothie 4 times a day.... total approx 2000-2200 cals, depending on size of nanner. That seems to suit me well, for I am dwarf-size. As my metabolism shifts, my GI heals, and my tummy-tum expands, I will up the amount and try to shoot for 6 per meal. After 2-3 days of JUST bananas, I'm going to add in celery. If I do fine with that, I'll try leafies or green juice. As I progress, I'll start experimenting with adding other things in.
-MOTIVATION/BOREDOM: I fear I will get REALLy sick of the yellow dudes and want to gorge on dates or other fruits. Thank god winter is kind of a fruit dead-zone where I live. I plan to mix it up with being innovative: smoothies, puddings, banana cereal, soft-serve....I think that's as creative as I can get with a one-ingredient food, lol.
-RIPENING CYCLE: I fear I'll run out of the spotty ones. Or, that I'll over-buy and thus have to put most in my freezer. So far, I have probably a case-and-a-half in my freezer, 2-3 days worth in my fridge, 3-4 days worth on my bench...all of these are ready to go. I also have a case that is green/yellow (half are in paper bags to ripen), and I will be heading out in a second to buy some spotty ones at Caputos for $19 a case! SCORE! Screw Whole Foods and Trader Joes.... u can't beat $19/case!
-UNNECESSARY FEARS: I worry I'll develop a food intolerance, it will make my issues worse, imbalanced diet leading to deficiencies, I'll grow a money tail....
What I hope my Vacay to the Banay will do:
-HEAL DIGESTIVE ISSUES: resolve constipation, establish normal BMs (quick, efficient, 2-3x per day), heal inflammation, stop the mucus/blood, ease the straining, stop the gas/bloat/cramps, fix the gastroparesis/early satiety, stretch my tummy so I can eat like a "normal" 881er...and other poopy stuff that is better left unsaid (I am a lady, afterall!)
-HEAL MY MIND: I read that bananas contain the precursors to neurotransmitters, thus helping to balance brain chemistry. YAY! An Anti-Depressant in a yummy yellow coat! Sweet, indeed! Buh-bye anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other little nuances I've developed from a badly damaged body and soul.
-HEAL MY BODY: where to start.... GI, thyroid, HPA, adrenals, brain, glands, hormones, bones, brain, skin, hair, teeth, breath, muscles..... long list. I doubt Bananas are THAT magical, but it's all about the faith, man.
-HEAL MY SOUL: adopting a simplistic diet leads to a simplistic lifestyle, thus enabling me to focus on issues higher up on Maslow's hierarchy. I've been pretty stuck on level one for too long! With more time to focus on other things besides my diet, I can accomplish a lot and feel better overall!
-STOP BAD HABITS: sort of goes with healing the mind, but I felt it deserved it's own category. I NEED TO EAT SLOWER!!! I tend to wolf it down, thanks to a bad habit I picked up when I had to eat meat. Faster eating = less time staring at a plate of carcass. :-( SAVOR THE FRUITY GOODNESS, gosh darnit! I've been literally dying for fruit for years....now that I have it, I'm not allowing myself to enjoy it. WTF?!
-HAVE MORE FREETIME: No more meal planning, researching, calculating. What do I eat for meals? bananas. Simple. Awesome. Delish.
-GET OFF THE F-ING COMPUTER!: I tend to research way too much. Yes, there is life on the other side of the screen. Not to worry, my friends, I will still be here (cuz I'm sure everyone here will miss the hell outta me!), but I will schedule my time better and give myself a time limit.
-SAVE MONEY: I tend to over-buy, thus this will help me not spend (if I can get the ripening cycle down pat!).
-BUILD MUSCLE/GAIN WEIGHT: Popeye had Spinach, I have BANANAS (and spinach when I add it in later...thus, I should be able to pwn Popeye with that combo!). :-)
If you guys can think of anything else and/or have any tips/suggestions, I'm all ears! I'm really nervous about this, so I appreciate the support!
Be fruity, my friends!
Love, hugs, and fruity-goodness to u all!
<3!
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